The only time come is a sin is when it's in a can.

I'll just say it: I like to be a little picky with men I date. On occasion, I like the first question they ask me not to be about how to get me drunk the fastest. I'm also learning that the ability to put a sentence together is apparently something out of the grasp of many of the the men I attract. So without further ado, happy Friday everyone! --RVS

Subject: beer
Message: What is the malted liquor, what gets you drunker quicker, what come sin bottles or in cans... :)

83% Match, 74% Friend, 15% Enemy
Robot commentary: I think you both like Mozart and Cooking

Canada!

Hello dear readers. Today we mark a milestone with our first reader submission! Today's post comes from a lovely lady in the Boston area, who shared the following message she received from an overly-eager Canadian gent. It's okay, Canada. We respect the effort. --RVS

Subject: Hey!
Location: Fredericton, New Brunswick, Canada
Message: Want to get to talk more about all that health experience sweet? Buzz me back!

Beating around beating around the bush

Subject: (No subject)
Message: Alright, let's just stop beating around the bush: I want to fuck you.


64% Match 67% Friend 32% Enemy
Robot commentary: I think you both like Shakespeare

Awkward

The hard part about meeting someone in person for the first time is usually that you two know almost nothing about each other, and so aside from asking typical get-to-know-you questions, you have very little to talk about. Luckily, thanks to the world of online dating sites, the first conversation (and usually a few subsequent conversations) happens with the beautiful filter that written communication provides. This has allowed all of us to seem more suave, witty and composed than our awkward selves usually are live. So a tip to those of you new to the process: utilize this new dating medium so that you DON'T have to use a stream of consciousness tangent as your opening line. -- RVS

Subject: oh god
Message: oh god, this is awkward. the first email is always hard. what to say? hmmmm. I think ur cute? no, she already hates that. how are you today? no, that just flat out sucks. I see you have brown hair, i do too? fail!

how about this: hi!


77% Match 83% Friend 12% Enemy

The Money ice breaker

Subject: you're
Message: hot I'd bone you. Right in the face.

88% Match 82% Friend 2% Enemy